My Unwritten Life.

As a writer my job is to bring to the surface all of the thoughts that a common average person thinks but cannot express. I formulate the sentences that would relate to what someone is experiencing but cannot find the words to lay them out on a platter for the world to see. I do that. I write roles for people, I write situations, I write the problem and I write the solution.

My life is a set of well orchestrated words. My blogs aren’t filled with my shenanigans on how much pot I smoke or how often I do it. It’s more the thoughts that run through my head when I’m at that high. Sometimes even when I’m not.

I wonder why I’m still blogging here. I haven’t in sometime because I don’t usually just blog for the sake of me having to say something. I just do it when I have something to say. I’m writing now because I think I can say in the past one month I’ve lived more on the edge than I ever have in my entire life and I love it.

I’ve always been the kind of person who needs to know what is happening, where it’s leading to, have a backup plan in case my initial plan fails and then go one step further to have a backup plan in case my backup plan fails to work. In another term you could call me a “Control Freak”. But I’ve finally learned what “letting go of your inhibitions” actually means. I’ve lived in a bubble wrapped world my entire life. Shielding myself away from people, not wanting to get too close, not wanting to give them the power to hurt you but if there’s one thing I’ve learned is when you build walls you not only shut people out, you also fence yourself in. Sitting alone in a fenced world is a lonely place to be.

Sometimes you meet people who are nothing you’ve ever wanted but everything you ever need. People who are your tug out of the lurch. People go through life making plans. At 25 I will be married. At 30 I shall have my dream job. At 40 I will join an exclusive club. People are always trying to write out their own destinies. It’s my job to write and after a whole lot of trial and test methods I have realized that there is nothing known as a perfect story. Just badly written ones. The ones you don’t write about are the ones worth remembering. It’s a tad hypocritical since I document close to everything but now I’m not going to document what I want, just what makes me happy. All I needed was the tug out of the lurch to realize that I am special, precious and don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise.

Yes I was burned but I called it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned
So I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned
So I call it a lesson learned
Another lesson learned.
- Alicia Keys.